Living Purple

I realized I haven’t written anything here in four months. So it’s time I updated you folks on what’s going on with me. First and most importantly I started wearing breast forms. I have a set I bought years ago and I have a set I made out of cotton balls and bandanas. I resisted wearing them for so many years because I didn’t like the look they gave me. I thought they made me look too feminine. Now I love them. I wear them every time I wear something […]

Although there were definite signs very early that I’m an androgyne, the first time I discovered that I’m transgendered will stay with me forever. When I was about 11 we were watching a special on TV about what things were like on an actual cruise ship. This was when The Love Boat was very popular. I can only remember this one segment but you’ll understand why. They picked two passengers, a man and a woman, to do something special at lunch one day. They had the man duck under a side […]

I said in my post What is an androgyne anyway? take 2 that “If you try to define me using male and female terms you will be confused. I’m both equally, which as I said in my entry My gender isn’t pangender, it’s other combines to make me something else in its own right.” I figured out a great way to describe that. Most MTFs in the Transgender community are a mix of male and female. But, and maybe this is truer of more people than I think, my mix is a little […]

If you’ve ever been to the Wix hosted site Life In Purple you’ll recognize these posts, word for word. Well, there’s a very good reason for that. I moved from Wix to FreeHostingNoAds and changed the name to Living Purple. I also changed my name here from Amber Dolan to Casey Morgan Twitchings. You see, I’m not a woman and I don’t have a female persona. So I changed my username on Crossdresser Heaven to be something unisex which is perfect for an androgyne. I used to go by Casey […]

I’ve been reading my first blog entry and I realized that it’s clear as mud. So let me try that again, taking things slower this time and trying to explain myself more. The Wikipedia entry for Transgender is a great place to start learning what an androgyne is. Reading the first sentence, androgyne is a gender identity in the transgender community that describes some people who aren’t exclusively masculine or feminine. The way I understand how genderqueer is used today, which is in some ways partly different than it was […]

I finally figured out why I couldn’t seem to reconcile how my gender could be simultaneously pangender and “me”. Because it’s not. It’s really “other”. Not only does that make perfect sense to me, I’m at peace about it. I learned long ago that when I’m at peace about something like that, that means it’s the truth. “Me” is a gender, to me at least. It comes under the “other” category. I can’t tell you how good this feels. I was really starting to doubt everything about myself for a […]

I suddenly remembered this after not really thinking about it for years. The superhero team I created in my teens was actually both a clue that I’m an androgyne and that I knew myself pretty well. I didn’t come up with names for them or for their team but here’s their origin story. One day a man and a woman were exploring the remote jungles of Africa when they were captured by an evil witch doctor. He fused them into one person who had all the traits of both of […]

I love to laugh and make other people laugh too. When I kid you that’s my way of saying I like you. I absolutely love it when you kid me back. And when I find out you can give as good as you can take, you’ve just made a new best friend.  So here’s a few things I hope will make you laugh. They’re all mine. Be afraid, be very afraid? Nah, I’m harmless. “The shoe is on the other foot” is kind of dumb. Who really goes around wearing […]

I’m still trying to decide how I feel about transgender identities. On the one hand they can help other people get an idea of what you might be like. It gives them a starting point. On the other hand it’s all too easy to pigeonhole yourself and others based on identities. “Oh, you’re this so you must be exactly like that.” Part of the problem is there aren’t any hard and fast rules about what a particular identity is. One person might identify as A and another identifies as B, […]

“It’s a riddle, wrapped in mystery, inside an enigma.” Winston Churchill was talking about the Russians in 1939. Some of us may feel this way about ourselves and/or our place in the transgender community, especially when we’re just starting our journey of self discovery. Who am I really? Am I a crossdresser, a transexual, what? Where do I fit in? Do I fit in? The good news is if we are honest with ourselves and keep exploring ourselves, always being guided by those feelings of what does and doesn’t feel […]